No one can really prepare you for the epic bomb drop of a life change as the day your loved one comes home from the hospital after being there for 2.5 months. While it was amazing and full of love in so many ways, especially right when we got home, it dawned on me as the hours passed by that my life was about to change forever.

This has been a hard adjustment. To say the least. And I thought my life was crazy enough running back to the hospital multiple times a day. Had no idea that life could get any crazier than it already was. I can’t speak from Will’s perspective (as it is so much harder on him) so I can only share my own, but it seemed as though we both forgot that kids would add a whole level of hard to the transition. Not because they are bad kids, but because they are kids who need mommy and daddy. And all of a sudden daddy is here, but not here if that makes sense. and mommy is taking care of daddy every second. (My mom has been here to help and has been a lifesaver to say the very least but they still see that our attention is on daddy’s care)

When I tucked Mia into bed the first night, she said to me. “I don’t have a mommy or a daddy.” And that really stung. As a parent you never want your kids to have your pain or suffering and we shield them the best we can to protect them from any of that. But the more pain and suffering we endure as parents, the more my thinking on that has changed. Is it really life’s goal to escape pain and suffering at all cost? Is that really the goal of parenting? Sure that would be nice. Until it’s not. And you are left trying to figure out how to press on when life doesn’t go your way. Now my thinking has changed. Maybe the goal of parenting isn’t about escaping as many bad days as you can and filling up their days with as much happiness and good as possible. (I’m not saying they can’t be happy) What i’m saying is this.

Maybe it’s more important than ever to help our kids through their problems, rather than trying to solve every single problem for them. As parent’s there is no way we can shield them from every single bad thing in life. BUT we can help them through it. And that literally requires no extra attention, money, classes, programs, camps, books or toys. That just requires shifting your perspective.

This builds resilience and hope, and honestly, true happiness.

This read is less about how hard it’s been for us (cuz I’m sure you’ll hear about that later) but more about what I’m learning through it all. And if it helps you, then it helps me too.

So If you are reading this right now, may you never lose sight of the nuggets that you can learn from going through pain and suffering. It may feel like the end. You may want to give up. You may not think you can do it anymore, but have faith. There is more for you.